Saturday, July 18, 2009

The Ten Commandments According to Obama


I. Thou shalt have no God in America, except for me. For we are no longer a Christian nation and, after all, I am the chosen One. (And like God, I do not have a birth certificate.)

II. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, unless it is my face carved on Mt. Rushmore.

III. Thou shalt not utter my middle name in vain (or in public). Only I can say Barack Hussein Obama.

IV. Remember tax day, April 15th, to keep it holy.

V. Honor thy father and thy mother until they are too old and sick to care for. They will cost our public-funded health-care system too much money.

VI. Thou shalt not kill, unless you have an unwanted, unborn baby. For it would be an abomination to punish your daughter with a baby.

VII. Thou shalt not commit adultery if you are conservative or a Republican. Liberals and Democrats are hereby forgiven for all of their infidelity and immorality, but the careers of conservatives will be forever destroyed.

VIII. Thou shalt not steal, until you've been elected to public office. Only then is it acceptable to take money from hard-working, successful citizens and give it to those who do not work, illegal immigrants, or those who do not have the motivation to better their own lives.

IX. Thou shalt not discriminate against thy neighbor unless they are conservative, Caucasian, or Christian.

X. Thou shalt not covet because it is simply unnecessary. I will place such a heavy tax burden on those that have achieved the American Dream that, by the end of my term as President, nobody will have any wealth or material goods left for you to covet.


C'mon. Even you lefties out there have to find this funny. I laughed at Family Guy and American Dad when they poked fun at Bush. Have a sense of humor.

4 Comments:

Anonymous Liberal Sith said...

Check this out for a counter-point:

http://web.blomand.net/~dennmac/reich-wing/tencommandments.htm

3:17 am  
Blogger Northern Exposer said...

Sorry Sith,

Not Found
The requested URL http://web.blomand.net/~dennmac/reich-wing/tencommandments.htm was not found on this server.

I'd like to see it. Maybe try a direct link?

But I assume it's a conservatives=Nazi thing?

9:03 am  
Anonymous Liberal Sith said...

Try http://ricksplace.headonradionetwork.com/2009/07/14/the-ten-commandments-republican-style/

Scanning it over, not nearly as lighthearted as the Democrat version.

4:29 pm  
Blogger Northern Exposer said...

Not bad. I may even agree (slightly) with no. 10. I was going to attack them one by one, but since you didn't, I won't.
And yeah, a little more mean spirited.

However, I'm obviously not going to re-print them on the blog ( I almost did when I was thinking of disputing them) but just for the benefit of those who didn't or won't check it out, I'll do it here:

The Ten Commandments - Republican Style

I. Thou shalt talk about Christian principles, but not live by them.

II. Thou shalt attack opponents personally when you can’t win on policies.

III. Thou shalt call yourself pro-life, but be in favor of the death penalty.

IV. Thou shalt call yourself pro-life, and put guns in the hands of school
children.

V. Thou shalt give lip service to democracy while taking away civil
liberties.

VI. Profit is the Lord Thy God, thou shalt not put the people’s interest
above those of your corporate contributors.

VII. Thou shalt make sure fetuses have health coverage, but leave children
and babies behind.

VIII. Thou shalt bear false witness against your opponents and liberals, and
demonize them.

IX. Thou shalt run on a moderate platform, then enact right-wing policies as
soon as possible.

X. Thou shalt call the media liberal, so that people forget that the media
is owned by corporations with a conservative fiscal agenda.

5:25 pm  

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