This is Funny

The Goracle explains why and how he and his utterly confused and hysterical minions can all of a sudden change their mantra from "global warming" to "climate change" without a whimper from anyone (well, anyone who believes in this crap to begin with) especially the culpable MSM.

The all-knowing seer says on his blog, *chuckle* An Inconvenient Blog:

I was in Poznan, Poland last week for serious climate change negotiations and my speech was well-received by the scientific community, which agreed with my assessment of our dire situation.

As global warming reaches epic proportions, I had expected record temperatures in Poland. Unfortunately, I had expected record heat and instead was met with some of the coldest temperatures I’ve felt since Hillary Clinton turned off the heat in the White House one winter when she was mad at Bill.

When I loaded my luggage onto my carbon-neutral NetJets flight, it was filled with shorts and Live Earth t-shirts that simply weren’t going to cut it in the cold; I had to buy a new wardrobe in Poznan.

My experience is not atypical. Many others can’t help but notice: it’s awfully cold outside. Not only has winter arrived early in many places, it’s a cold winter. There was even snow in Tipper’s favorite city, Las Vegas.

Despite the fact that we had record-breaking October heat, apparently 2008 looks like it might be the coldest year in the past decade.

Of course, global warming denialists are loving this. They point out that not only is 2008 a cold year, but that there hasn’t been any statistically significant warming in the past decade if you consider that the record hot year of 1998 was caused by El Niño, a climate change refuge from Latin America.

They further observe that the 21 different climate models the UN’s IPCC included in its latest assessment report did not show any possibility of a quarter century without statistically significant warming yet given the cooling over the past decade, they claim that even if the models start working again, a trend of statistically significant warming cannot be reestablished until 2020 at the earliest.

Finally, there are those who believe that the unexpected lull in activity at the largest furnace in the solar system - the Sun - is responsible for this cooling trend and that this demonstrates solar activity, not carbon emissions, is the driving force behind global warming and cooling.

My Nobel Prize was not in mathematics or astrophysics so I cannot address the validity of the science behind these claims.

But what I can tell you is that the denialists have it all wrong: we’re not talking about global warming anymore, we’re talking about climate change. As temperatures rise, the climate will change very rapidly and very unpredictably in all directions.

There are lots of ways that rising temperatures can produce colder temperatures.

In his book The Coming Global Superstorm, best-selling author and atmospheric scientist Whitley Strieber describes a scenario in which global warming can actually cause an Ice Age.

That’s why you’ll notice that lately, I’m referring more to “climate change” than “global warming.” Yes the planet is heating but we may not feel that heat here at ground level.

Therefore, I encourage you to make sure that when you’re educating your fellow citizens about the existential threat to humanity that we all face, you refer to “climate change,” not “global warming.”

I’d also encourage those of you who are older (like me) to think back to the pre-climate change days when weather was far more predictable. You’ll probably remember that winter was a lot colder then than it is today. In that sense, all of the alleged 2008 climate records that have been broken due to cold are the result of collective amnesia produced by climate change. You simply can’t remember a normal winter so each year, you expect winter to be more and more mild. When it isn’t, your body thinks it’s colder than it really is.

Based on the work of a colleague of mine which will be published next year, the average person is becoming more sensitive to cooler temperatures because our DNA is rapidly adjusting to the rising temperatures. By 2020, he predicts that temperatures of 75°F will elicit a response by the average human’s body that is comparable to the response temperatures of 50°F would have elicited in 2005.

The Cooling Anomaly of 2008 as my scientists are calling it is therefore not so much a real cooling but the climate taking a breather before the IPCC climate models resume. I am told that a new model being published in the Journal of Climate Change Science in February 2009 will show that the cooling of 2008 was completely expected.

Stay tuned for information on that.

Oh, we'll be sure to do that Al. We'll be sure to do just that.

Man, this kook has an answer for everything, don't he?